A Don’t for Church

I’d have to say I agree.

I’m looking forward to our new church sanctuary because it will have pews. Right now we sit on folding chairs, which is part of the reason why I had to stare at the pimply ass-crack of the young woman in front of me, until I left to sit in the lobby, where the view was brighter and the sermon sounded kinder. She was a visitor, and some grace must be afforded, though the regular member who brought her treated everyone to more than we needed to see of her lime-green underwear.

At this point, please play in your head the voice of a nasally overindulged teenage girl, complaining that you just can’t buy pants any more that don’t sink low on the hips. Now, please slap this girl, as well as her mother and father. Cathartic, isn’t it? You certainly can buy pants that don’t expose your butt, and while you’re at it you can pick out some shirts that don’t expose your poochy belly and your brave little bellybutton hardware. On behalf of civilized society everywhere, I’d like to say that we are all tired of being the captive audience for your self-obsessed, half-naked prancing.

Oh, and wearing flip-flops at a funeral? If I child did that, I’d expect that I should be shot for failing to properly raise the child.

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Erick Erickson

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  • Saturday night during the deluge Cobb County experienced we visited the Marietta diner for dinner. At the table a good way away, but in our line of sight a young girl sat down wearing a backless shirt with the largest winged creature tatoo I’ve ever seen. While that was distracting in and of itself what really was the “ass” kicker was the three inches of crack she displayed when she sat down. It was very unappetizing as we tried to continue our dinner. Dear Daughter and the table across the way finally realized they were in hysterics over the same thing. It’s so nice to bond with those around you during a dining experience.

    You should have seen the number of phone cameras that came out snapping away…including one at our table.

    I guess it would be in poor taste to post it.

    My father is appalled at the number of young girls and old ones who should know better that wear dresses we used to call “slips” which were generally worn under our dress.

    What most of the young girls don’t realize is if they would simply pull their pants up a bit before sitting down they wouldn’t end up looking like Bubba the plumber….

  • I’m so glad you were focused on being spiritual while in church and not busy judging others.