A Handy Guide to Deciding Between Tonight’s Debate and Football

Back when the debate schedule was released in July, it was easy to scoff at Donald Trump’s allegation that the placement of the opening debate on a Monday night was yet another Democratic conspiracy against his candidacy, due to the fact that the debate would be competing with Monday Night Football for viewers. Little did I realize back then that the scheduling of this debate would put it in direct conflict with a primetime game featuring my own Atlanta Falcons.

As a self-appointed analyst of all things political, I feel something of an obligation to tune into a debate that carries undeniably historic implications. Surely I have a duty to witness such an event unfold firsthand, and to besmirch that duty in order to watch a football game would be downright foolish on my part, right?

A couple weeks ago, I was given the opportunity to write The Resurgent’s college football preview. I had almost forgotten how invigorating and fun writing can be when you are able to talk about things that don’t cause you abject misery (Georgia’s game with Nicholls State later that same afternoon caused me to strongly reconsider that notion.) It occurs to me that I have now reached critical mass as it pertains to my interest in this year’s presidential election. The headlines just don’t matter to me anymore. Nothing that either of these candidates says or does causes me to dislike them any more than I already do or, alternatively, makes their opponent seems anymore appealing.

Trump wants to force private businesses to pay for maternity leave? Yep, could’ve seen that coming. Hillary is too unhealthy to literally just stand there at the 9/11 memorial? Yikes, that’s too bad. Trump wants to shoot live puppies out of a cannon at people who won’t stand for the national anthem? I’m sure someone at Breitbart thinks it’s the kind of bold and inventive leadership we’ve been lacking.

Monday’s debate will not reveal anything new about either of these candidates. Two New York liberals will take the stage to argue over which of them will be more efficient in extending the powers of the already bloated executive branch so that they can better enact their own agendas. Trump will bloviate and bluster his way through his usual campaign talking points, peppering in a few barbs about his opponent’s emails or her corrupt charitable organization, while Clinton will dutifully work her way down a list of antique, focus group-approved internet memes that are sure to finally engender her to all those millennial voters. It will be a true exercise in unremitting pointlessness that will cause myself and so many others to wonder yet again where our proud nation went so wrong to end up in such a lowly state of affairs. A charlatan and her donor. A snake oil salesman and his wedding guest. Which do you choose?

Me? I choose Matt Ryan. Go Falcons.

About the author

Dave Scharoun

Dave is a conservatarian blogger and political consultant from the Atlanta area. He enjoys fantasy football, chicken and waffles, and not discussing politics on social media.

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