David Beckham is an aging athlete who plays a game that Americans don’t care about and is married to some bird of no talent and even less brain who used to be a pop star. They are Brits and they have come over here to expectations of the kind that accompanied General Burgoyne back in 1777. But things didn’t work out so well for Gentleman Johnny. American troops, hiding in ambush and using Kentucky long rifles, repeatedly shot his officers out of the saddle — which the Brits thought exceedingly unsporting — and eventually forced him to surrender his whole army at Saratoga. It was the battle that won the Revolution. But for some reason, the Brits keep coming back, trying to conquer America. One difference: Where once upon a time, they wore red coats, they now wear nothing but tattoos. No matter.