I am feeling especially “woke” today. Maybe it was all the “peaceful” demonstrations from Antifa or the “tolerance” shown by Black Lives Matter, but I feel a need to express solidarity with the Alt-Left. (Is Alt-Left what they’re calling themselves today? I can never keep up.)
Anyway, my balaclava is in the laundry and I’m fresh out of Molotov cocktails, but I still feel the urge to join the rioting mob from afar. The Alt-Left has attacked all Southerners as slave-owners and all white people as Nazis by association. But that’s not going far enough to end racism and the taint of slavery. I can do better and present my following suggestion:
Shut down the Ivy League. That’s right. Every single elitist University in the Ivies. Harvard, Yale, Brown, Princeton, Penn, Cornell, Columbia, and Dartmouth. Shut ’em all down. It is long past due to eliminate these relics of racism, slavery, and elitist white patriarchy.
Now, I’m not saying erase the memory of them completely. We can keep the school emblems and artifacts like the Van Wickle Gates or a chunk of grass from Harvard Yard. But they need to be moved to a museum where they can be viewed in their proper context. AND plaques must be placed alongside these symbols of bigotry to warn of their overt danger to non-gender, non-specific species life forms.
After all, every single Ivy League school has a connection to slavery. Either they were built with money from slave owners, literally built with slave labor, or they were founded and flourished in an environment that promoted and tolerated slavery and discrimination.
Plus they were all founded by white men. How patriarchal! How racist! How sexist! How can we allow institutions built on such horrors to go unpunished? It’s just not acceptable.
I don’t care how liberal the universities claim to be now. They’re tainted. We must assume everyone there now is just as guilty as the schools’ founders. It’s the seriousness of the charge. Huffington Post said that serving in the military makes people racist. Well, then working in the Ivy League makes people guilty of sympathizing with slavery.
It’s true a few Brown University students wanted a school name change in 2009 due to its founder, Nicholas Brown’s ties to slavery. They thought that would clean the slate. But let’s face it. That’s just not good enough! They can’t just whitewash their past and get away with it. That arrogance of just EXPECTING to be able to keep their school open is proof of their obvious latent racism. How dare they think they can just continue like nothing happened? They wouldn’t even exist without slavery. Every minute they remain open is another minute that The Resistance must suffer from the remembrance of the past oppressions they represent. They are a constant reminder of America’s original sin.
This arrogant, reprehensible mindset obviously prevails throughout all Ivy League schools, because none of the schools have voluntarily recognized their privilege and closed their doors. It’s exactly why all Ivy League schools must be shut down.
But it’s not enough to simply close these relics of slavery. We must confiscate every penny they have. They have billions of dollars in endowments – none of which could exist if not for slavery. Harvard’s endowment alone is worth over $37 BILLION. Think of all the reparations that could pay. How woke would that be!
But we can’t stop there! We must confiscate every dollar that anyone working at Ivy League Universities has ever earned. Let’s face it, they have all profited from these corrupt institutions and indirectly profited from slavery as a result. The professors and administrators would not have any of their riches, power, and prestige without the slave labor used to create the very institutions they propagate. The fact they accepted the blood money in the first place is proof of their complicit guilt. Clear evidence that bigotry is in their hearts.
Perhaps, these folks working in the Ivy League have money from outside sources, I hear people say. Money untainted by the slavery ties of their universities. But their money is so commingled now, it’s impossible to separate out the good from the bad. Safest just to seize everything they have.
Now, I realize that there are some at these universities who claim to be fighting from the inside. People like Cornel West. But let’s face it – as Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton said, they aren’t really down for the struggle. They’re relaxing in their posh jobs in their Ivory Towers, tainted just by their proximity. They all have white privilege by association, and they don’t even recognize it! What bigots! And don’t tell me someone like Cornel West can’t have white privilege. If Clarence Thomas isn’t “black enough“, then neither are any Ivy League professors.
None can be trusted. All of them must be considered the enemy. Even worse, they’re traitors to the cause of being “woke”.
That’s why I’m calling for an end to “discussion”. No more “national conversation”. No more “peaceful” riots. We tried to be nice and politely ask these Universities to remove their divisive existence from the American landscape, but NOOOOOO! They wouldn’t listen. So the time to act is now!
Shut down all Ivy League schools. Seize all their assets. Sell off their property.
The time for cleansing is now!
No Justice! No Peace!