Corn Pops: A Tale of Racism, Murder, and Perversion

Saladin Ahmed (no relation) rightly pointed out the blatant racism of this seemingly innocent ad for Corn Pops. More like “Special KKK”, AMIRITE?! Anyway, he did the public a valuable service by pointing out the oppression of the Hispanic dude cleaning floors while surrounded by annoying white kids. But he missed the real story. This is without a doubt the most scandalous ad in the history of yuppie cereal. Let’s walk through this:

  1. Is ANYBODY going to address the child dangling 50 feet above the floor? With safety standards like that, I’m going to assume this is a Florida mall.
  2. There is a murderer about to drop a boulder on someone’s head. Probably just got fired from Auntie Anne’s. Gosh, those pretzels are amazing.
  3. So we’re going to protect the Hispanic janitor but completely ignore the Asian twins rocking cameras and fanny packs?
  4. How about the single mother who got started a little early and now she’s pushing an entire cart full of kids around the mall, just trying to stay sane?
  5. Um, little Johnny seems pretty interested in cheer-leading practice. Maybe we could address this BEFORE he becomes a movie producer.
  6. Ok, I can’t sugarcoat this one. That kid is washing his rear end and the kids below are DRINKING it. And you thought Mexico’s water was bad.
  7. Last but not least……you can’t name a corn dog stand that.

I’m onto your evil schemes, Corn Pops. Saladin and I are going to take down your reign of terror.

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Jesse Kelly

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