Democrats And Sissies: A Love Story

Remember Algore hiring Naomi Wolf to show him how to be a man, instead of a she-man? Remember all the talk about limp-wristed Democrats unable to stand up to the uberman, ax wielding George Bush? Unbeknowst to me, the Democrats have been mindful of their sissy image and have sought to overcome it.

Rahm Emanuel and Charles Schumer, two of the prototypical girlie men of the Democratic Party, decided the Democrats needed some infusion of testosterone. So, you see, the candidates we voted on this past November were not just candidates by happenstance, but candidates by design — candidates designed to make women want them and men want to be them.

When Mr. Emanuel and Mr. Schumer set out to find candidates to run in the red states and districts of the 2006 electoral battleground they sought their own rural and exurban doppelgängers.

The fruits of those efforts arrived in Washington last week. Take, for example, three House freshman from Pennsylvania. Patrick Murphy, the son of a Philadelphia police officer, was a West Point professor, a prosecutor and an Iraq war veteran before he ran for Congress. Chris Carney was a lieutenant commander in the Navy Reserves. Joe Sestak is a former Navy vice admiral whose last job was commanding 15,000 sailors and dozens of ships and aircraft for operations in Afghanistan.

“Joe Sestak — that guy’s muscular!” says Mr. Lapp. “He’s a vice admiral. I’ve told him to spend a lot of time going on the national talk shows. He can really do a service changing the mold and the way the Democratic Party is viewed.”

Other House members include Minnesota’s Tim Walz, an Army national guardsman; Brad Ellsworth, an Indiana sheriff; and Heath Shuler, a former N.F.L. quarterback from North Carolina.


So remember, next time you want to be a candidate for office, first go on a roid rage, then let loose rumors that you are the BSD. Then run as a Democrat and maybe Charlie Schumer will grab your butt and push your candidacy. Has American politics really come down to this?

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Erick Erickson

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  • But for Hillary. She’s trying to look more feminine. Notice the longer hair, and a little more makeup and not such manly sounding talk, i.e, without Algore’s down South riverside preacher’s hellfire&brimstone ranting sounds. Oh, if he and she and they only would come to know what is really causing global warming! Don’t forget to pray for “those in authority” and for our “enemies”. . .all of them, the worst of them, around the world.