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Forget Politics, Who’s Ready For College Football?

After covering the 2016 race since 2004, (it feels like) we at The Resurgent wanted to give you and us a break from the daily, “Trump sucks, Hillary sucks, we’re screwed.” With college football just around the corner, it seems like the perfect distraction. I give you, “The Resurgent Preseason Top 10 Ranking” based on our “highly researched,” completely biased analysis.

  1. Alabama. For the 147th year in a row, Alabama tops the charts in the opening preseason poll. While I would personally pull for the Taliban over Alabama, 55 of the 64 voting coaches gave the top spot to the Crimson Tide in the coaches poll. After loosing Kirby Smart to the University of Georgia, Jeremy Pruitt takes over for Nick Saban’s defense. Another important note is only 11 starters from last years national title team will be returning. I wish them nothing but the worst.
  2. Clemson. Last year’s runner up will again start this year in the second slot. Early Heisman candidate and all around stud, QB Deshaun Watson is returning for his likely final season with the Tigers. Clemson benefits from a fairly easy schedule (insert ACC joke), facing only a handful of ranked opponents. Coach, Dabo Swinney returns 12 starters from last year. Clemson sets another personal record with 81 strait days of no players arrested. Good job guys.
  3. Oklahoma. Perennial top fiver Oklahoma starts the Resurgent Preseason Poll at number 3. Coach Bob Stoops, who underwent a hip replacement in the offseason, is bringing back an average 14 starters from last year. Aside from a possible weakness at linebacker, Oklahoma looks solid on the depth charts, including Redshirt Junior QB, Baker Mayfield. The Sooners have a challenging schedule, facing, Houston, Ohio State, TCU and Texas in 4 of the first 5 games. Oklahoma lost to Clemson last year in the Orange Bowl.
  4. Florida State.  Coach Jimbo Fisher is returning an unprecedented 18 starters, including the entire offense. Ole Miss, Clemson and Florida are the Seminoles’ 3 toughest games, but are spaced out at the beginning, middle and end of the season. Fisher is blessed with one of the best Running Backs in the country in Dalvin Cook along with a very talented Sean Maguire in Quarterback. The Noles lost to Houston last year in the Peach Bowl (LOL).
  5. Ohio State. The NFL annexed Ohio State’s roster like the Russians took Crimea.  The Buckeyes brought back a whopping 6 players from last years 11-1 season. Usually this would tank a team in our “highly researched” polling system, but returning star QB and savior of the offense, J.T. Barrett overcame the deficit. Ohio State’s 3 toughest games without a doubt will be Michigan, Michigan State and Oklahoma.
  6. Louisiana State. One of Erick Erickson’s favorite teams (please forgive him) is returning an impressive 19 starters including early Heisman hopeful RB Leonard Fournette. After speculation about coach Les Miles being fired following 3 brutal losses in a row at the end of 2015, expectations are high for 2016. Cool side note: LSU will be playing Wisconsin at Lambeau Field, the Green Bay Packers stadium, on September 3rd.
  7. Stanford. Seriously, who pulls for Stanford? Skip.
  8. Michigan. After going through a rebuilding decade, the Wolverines are returning 15 starters including 9 on offense. The QB battle is wide open without a clear front runner between the handful contending for the slot. Jim Harbaugh, the Donald Trump of coaches, takes over the Wolverines for the second year, hoping to improve on last years 10-3 season. Michigan’s 2 must win games are Ohio State and Michigan State.
  9. Notre Dame. The conference-challenged Fighting Irish are returning only 10 starters this year after an injury-riddled 2015 season. Notre Dame has one of the easiest schedules in the top 10, with only one game versus a ranked opponent—and that one is Stanford.  Side note: Why is every Notre Dame game on NBC? Seriously, nobody around here (SEC country) would waste a Milwaukee’s Best six-pack watching them.
  10. Tennessee. After going through a rebuilding program worthy of Atlanta interstate construction projects, prospects at Tennessee are finally looking up. Last year the Volunteers had four heartbreaking losses to Oklahoma, Alabama, Arkansas and Florida. Coach Jones is returning an impressive 18 starters, but is facing a brutal schedule. Our “highly researched” prediction:  Expect a Tennessee vs Alabama SEC championship.

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Philip Swicegood

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