Photo by Allegra Boverman. Vermin Supreme came to the New Hampshire State House on Friday, Nov. 20, the last day of the filing period, to file paperwork to be part of the N.H. Primary.

In Defense Of Dipstick Libertarians

The best part of the Libertarian Party is Reason Magazine*. I really enjoy Nick Gillespie’s charm in sticking it to a bloated whale carcass of a federal government drunk from its own fermented rotting flesh. But sometimes we have to remind them that only grownups should govern America.

The Libertarians are a shining example of what happens when people elevate principle over responsibility. They end up with a big tent where the only price of admission is showing up and agreeing that showing up is sufficient because rules are for fools. So National Review’s Ian Tuttle got himself down to Orlando to hang out with the Libertarians as they convened their party’s party (you should really read his report, it’s worth the time).

I had given the L’s a fair hearing in the last few months since it’s obvious the Republicans have decided to forfeit this year’s election and play against the conservative side. My last look was cut short after seeing what (then-presumptive) nominee Gary Johnson stood for. Erick threw some wisdom their way suggesting that they not demonstrate insanity by doing the same thing twice (nominate Gary Johnson) and expecting different results (more than 1 percent of the vote).

But they didn’t listen. They didn’t go with Austin Petersen–a man who seemed at least to have the patina of a conservative–and they nominated Johnson again, while confirming what everyone has always thought about the Libertarian Party while doing so.

Now Gillespie appears obligated to defend the clown show, dismissing the teenage antics with “Har har har.”

The mind boggles that anyone belonging to an ideological movement or party that calls Trump a pushover on immigration has the temerity to mock Libertarians because they still dig Buffy the Vampire Slayer or something. Suits-with-sneakers! Getta load of this!

I dig Joss Whedon, binge watch Firefly, and get down being an unshaven T-shirt and sneakers guy as much as anyone. I’m a geek’s geek. But I also believe that a modicum of seriousness and–yes, even decorum–is required to govern. The Libertarians had a unique chance to break their own mold this year and emerge from a political version of the SCA** into a something resembling an actual adult movement.

And they blew it.

Let’s stipulate that however silly Libertarians may be, and however much they might desperately want the future to feature only private sidewalks and for Soylent Green to be purchased exclusively with Bitcoin or Ethereum, they are not as batshit crazy and unhinged as Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and the two parties and movements they represent. Yes, we libertarians (big L and small l) like comic books and science fiction and have people who show up at national conventions wearing boots on their heads and strip down to thongs and argue over whether such unannounced nudity contravenes the non-aggression principle. Dunno about you, but when I look at a future in which I can be hanging out with the likes of Ted Cruz and Mike Huckabee or Elizabeth Warren and Anthony Weiner or with Vermin Supreme and James Weeks II, I’m happy to choose the latter pair every time.

Stop it, Nick. You’re making a false dichotomy and you know it.

Huckabee plays a pretty good bass guitar. Ted Cruz knows more Star Wars lore and can quote Star Trek better than half the thong-wearing, tattooed weenies that littered Orlando. Besides, neither Star Wars nor Star Trek posit a libertarian point of view. I think the Empire or the First Order might be more in line with some of the positions held by those who booed Petersen when he suggested there should be laws against selling heroin to five-year-olds. Behold the power of the Dark Side! Laws are for boobs (or we’ll destroy your planet).

Gillespie invites us (liberals and conservatives) to live “in a libertarian world that is freer, fairer, and more fun than ever.” Fair enough. I’ll go there when I don’t need to be the adult supervision.

This only makes me more convinced that America needs another party–a conservative party free from meatballs, numbnuts, lamebrains, and nitwits in its leadership, who understand where our culture is, and can move to a conservative position without proposing messiahhood a la Trump (who lies about conservative positions anyway).

*The articles are awesome at Reason, so much so that the federal government sought to shut them up by prosecutorial fiat. But the comments section is like trolling through an unfiltered sewer, which is what got the U.S. Attorney’s attention in the first place.

**I have no issue with the Society for Creative Anachronism. They are adults who invented cosplay and do it very, very well. They are also loving, wonderful people–some of my best friends are longtime SCA. The Libertarian Party would be better served by those SCA leaders than some of the asshats who mar their organization.


About the author

Steve Berman

The old Steve cared about money, prestige, and power. Then Christ found me. All at once things changed. But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

I spent 30 years in business. Now I write and edit. But mostly I love. I have a wife and 2 kids and a dog and we live in a little house in central Georgia.

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