Just In Case You Needed More Reason to be Annoyed at College Millennials…

In case you thought the mindless nonsense of collegiate social justice warriors freaking out and needing counseling because Ben Shapiro was coming to talk on campus was bad, just know the problem isn’t confined to the west coast.

Even in red state Texas, these frighteningly obtuse liberal enclaves we call universities are just a giant joke waiting to be exposed. For instance, at the University of Texas at Austin, the school has hired a second campus dietician to handle all the concerns and objections to gluten carrying and genetically modified food being served.

Not far away, at the University of Houston, the school is shelling out more and more money to construct hydroponic gardens where they can avoid the pesky and potentially contaminated soil when growing cilantro and oregano. Seriously.

The University of California, Los Angeles has installed aeroponic grow towers that grow plants with just mist. Thyme, butter lettuce and microgreens are flourishing in the breeze on the roof of UCLA’s Bruin Plate dining hall.  “If you’re not eating good things, how do they expect your brain to grow?” said Hannah Logan, a senior at the University of Massachusetts Amherst majoring in sustainable food and farming… “For me to see myself going to a school, I also had to see myself being able to eat there,” said Ally Roberts, an aspiring neuroscientist who started her freshman year last week at the University of Colorado Boulder. “I see a huge correlation between what I eat and how I think.”…


A churrascaria, a gelateria and a sushi bar are among Virginia Tech’s other campus dining options. “You’ve got to keep pace with their expectations,” Mr. [Ted] Faulkner said. The bar is always rising, he said. At a student dining committee meeting this spring, Taqua Elleithy, a marketing and psychology major, complained that Virginia Tech’s pancake syrup was too bland. Soon dining staff summoned Ms. Elleithy and other student leaders to a kitchen and presented them with French toast sticks and a lineup of 13 sticky sauces.


“They were like, ‘Yo, rank them,’” said Ms. Elleithy, a junior. The winner was sweet and flavorful, with a “good dipping and pouring consistency.” The university’s efforts impressed her. “It’s one thing to like, listen, but it’s a whole ‘nother to follow through,” she said. “I think it validates students’ opinions.”

Actually what it validates is the sorry state of pampered millennials once again being allowed to pretend that their preferences are equal to fundamental rights. They are not. You have no right to hydroponic cilantro or aeroponic oregano.

Besides, other than culinary majors, why does any college kid know anything outside the four main food groups of pizza, pizza rolls, ramen noodles, and chicken fingers anyway?

Because they’re more interested in developing healthy brains these days? Please. Steve Jobs ate ordinary carrots almost exclusively. Einstein ate fried eggs and even grasshoppers. And as far as my research tells me, he didn’t demand his teachers cycle it through a gentle aeroponic mist first.

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Peter Heck

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