Mid-Season Cliffhanger On White House Reality Show – New Character Killed Off

You wanted entertainment, America?  You got some freaking entertainment!

In a stunning mid-season cliffhanger, one of the newest characters in TRUMP, the 6 month-old White House reality docudrama, was written off the show without any replacement being named.  Despite being a new addition only a little over a week in, Anthony Scaramucci or “The Mooch” (as he’s been termed by fans of the show) was summarily terminated during the debut episode of new White House Chief of Staff Gen. John Kelly. 

The shocking episode titled, “The Moochening”, cold-opened with Scaramucci being tossed out of the White House without warning.  Not much is known at this time about the hit on Mooch’s career or why.  But reports say Gen. Kelly requested it, and Trump agreed.  The exit of this brash Long Island stereotype comes in the wake of critics who both hated him and loved to hate him. 

The whirlwind run for Mooch began just 10 days ago, when he debuted as the new White House Director of Communications without any experience in the field.  Promptly, his wife, who was 9 months pregnant, filed for divorceHe spent the day of his new child’s birth with Trump and only communicated by texting with his wife after the delivery.  This personal subplot created a tremendous amount of criticism for Scaramucci’s character as cold and callous. 

His professional efforts were similarly negative with an emphasis on taking out his rivals, including former Press Secretary Sean Spicer and former White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus.  But his highlight on the show had to be his dramatic monologue to The New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza, in which he complained of being “c*%&blocked”, accused Steve Bannon of acrobatic self-pleasuring, and blamed Priebus for leaking his financial records to the press.  This episode didn’t sit well with many of the show’s fans and critics.  Some said the character jumped the shark, but the show’s lead star and executive producer Donald Trump is said to have loved it.  Scaramucci was the talk of the town and dominated headlines.

Even so, the Mooch has been written off the show… for now.  As a character, he burned bright and hot, and like a comet in the sky, he has now disappeared from sight.  But like all good soap operas, you never know when he may return.  Some say he may reappear as the new chief strategy officer at the Export-Import Bank, which is ironically the organization that actually released his financial documents, not Reince Priebus.

Sadly, the memes Scaramucci generated now lay sad and alone.  An eerie depression settles on Twitter’s normally sarcastic contributors at his loss.  And Saturday Night Live comedians cry softly in the corner.  

Goodnight sweet Mooch, we hardly knew ya.

About the author

Nick Kammer

Devout Christian, Cruz 2016 state co-Chair. Amateur metalsmith and jeweler. I worked on more campaigns than I care to remember. Brown University magna cum laude. Masters of Science in Accountancy. CPA. Yada yada. Everything I needed to know I learned from my father.

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