Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee waves to the crowd as he walks off stage after speaking at the RedState Gathering Saturday, Aug. 8, 2015, in Atlanta. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Mike Huckabee Has to be a Democrat Plant

Everyone has their own tastes in humor: the clownish physical comedy of the Three Stooges or Jim Carrey, observational comedy like Jerry Seinfeld and Tim Hawkins, explicitly crude comedy like Chris Rock or George Carlin, or dry sarcasm like Norm McDonald or David Spade. And while I can bust a gut laughing at Hawkins or Spade, I also appreciate that there are those who don’t. Similarly, while some might never get enough of Curly smacking Larry in the head, I’d expect them to respect the fact that it gets a little old to the rest of us.

In short, a man’s choice in comedy is something to be respected and not judged. Except Mike Huckabee. We can all judge Mike Huckabee’s humor.

The former Arkansas Governor, turned presidential candidate, turned Fox News host, turned presidential candidate, turned embittered anti-Cruzer, turned Donald Trump apologist, has now apparently settled on a new career: Twitter comedy.

And it’s not going well.

When Democrat Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer fake cried over Donald Trump’s temporary “travel ban,” the embarrassing spectacle set up nicely to be harpooned by witty conservatives. Instead, Mike Huckabee went in for the kill:

Breaking news from Hollywood! Sen. Chuck Schumer cast in lead role for remake of “Boys Don’t Cry.”

What? First of all, he was crying (or pretending to) so it wouldn’t be boys don’t cry. Secondly, this isn’t even close to being a burn. If anything it let Schumer off the hook by being more humiliating than the Senator’s pandering tears.

Then came the Justice Gorsuch hearings which saw Huckabee try to float a few zingers, including one that referenced the old cartoon character Foghorn Leghorn. I’ll give you one guess how well that went over seeing that Twitter is populated largely by people who weren’t alive when Foghorn was in his prime. But after swinging and missing with a cartoon reference, Huckabee went right back in with this gem:

Breaking News! Jimmy Dean Sausage Co will be renamed GORSUCH SAUSAGE because he’s grinding up some Democrat Senators into PURE PORK SAUSAGE.

I just don’t understand how anyone who seems to function normally in civilized society could come to the conclusion that this was witty, funny, or even a remotely effective jab. It doesn’t even make sense. Was pork a reference to legislative excess? These are judicial confirmation hearings, not budget debates.

And it continues. Just days ago, Huckabee announced to his 615,000 followers that:

For Cinco de Mayo I will drink an entire jar of hot salsa and watch old Speedy Gonzales cartoons and speak Spanish all day. Happy CdMayo!

The most astounding thing about that tweet was that it was posted at 4:52 am, making it appear as though Huckabee was so confident it was comedy gold that he could hardly sleep in anticipation of posting it. Maybe it sounded better in his head than it came across, but I think knowing that these could be well thought-out, premeditated, practiced, rehearsed zingers actually makes it worse.

And finally the coup de grace:

CNN now stands for Cardiac Care Network because their ppl are having heart attacks over Trump doing what Dems once demanded-fire Comey.

Cardiac Care Network would be CCN. Not CNN. Call me a conspiracy theorist but I think it’s becoming clear that Mike Huckabee is a Democrat plant. He has to be; nothing else explains this kind of behavior. Sure, it’s been an elaborate scheme including years of social and political commentary aimed at building up trust on the right, but given the level of humiliation he now brings on the entire political movement he is associated with, I’d say they’re getting their money’s worth.

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Peter Heck

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