NASA: No Child Sex Slaves on Mars

Rest assured, my fellow Americans, there is no child sex slave operation on Mars!  That was the message from NASA yesterday… seriously.  I’m not joking.

A spokesman for NASA’s Mars exploration, Guy Webster, told The Daily Beast,

“There are no humans on Mars. There are active rovers on Mars. There was a rumor going around last week that there weren’t. There are.  But there are no humans.”  

NASA felt forced to respond to bizarre accusations by conspiracy theorist Alex Jones and his guest, Robert David Steele.

On Thursday, Jones interviewed Steele on his radio program, The Alex Jones Show, to discuss this important topic.  The show is carried on 118 radio stations across the country.

Steele was a CIA officer and former candidate to be the Reform Party Presidential nominee in 2012.  Being ex-CIA, it’s little surprise that his delusions carry weight with conspiracy theorists, no matter how impossible.  He told Jones of this super-secret NASA operation,

“We actually believe that there is a colony on Mars that is populated by children who were kidnapped and sent into space on a 20-year ride.  So that once they get to Mars they have no alternative but to be slaves on the Mars colony.”

Not too surprisingly, Alex Jones agreed that Mars could be the real Prison Planet, saying,

“clearly they don’t want us looking into what is happening,” since “every time probes go over they turn them off… Look, I know that 90 percent of the NASA missions are secret and I’ve been told by high level NASA engineers that you have no idea. There is so much stuff going on.”

Uh, huh, yeah… makes sense, except for the fact that Mars is 33.9 million miles away, has an atmosphere that can’t sustain human life, and has an average temperature of -85o F that would freeze anyone to death.  Also, how can you have a child slave camp on Mars when it takes “a 20-year ride” to travel there?  The kids would be adults when they arrived.  No word either on whether this operation is turning the frogs on Mars homosexual or not.

Once on Mars, Steele believes the kidnapped children are imprisoned in space labor camps and then harvested for blood and bone when they are of no more use.

“Pedophilia does not stop with sodomizing children.  It goes straight into terrorizing them to adrenalize their blood and then murdering them. It also includes murdering them so that they can have their bone marrow harvested as well as body parts.”

Jones piped in,

“This is the original growth hormone.”

Ewww.  Gross.  And what a non sequitur!  Alex Jones is known for obsessing over bodybuilding supplements like growth hormone.  He even has his own supplement line.  But still!  Making a connection between dead kids and growth hormone, that’s creepy even for him.

Considering that this kind of coverage is commonplace for Info Wars and Prison Planet, it is disconcerting that Donald Trump has praised Alex Jones in the past.

It’s a sad statement that NASA had to tell people this isn’t true.  This isn’t the first time NASA has responded to conspiracy theories.  Just this week, the space agency was also forced to deny claims by an anonymous internet video claiming they are soon announcing discovery of alien life.

So rest assured, NASA has said there are no aliens coming or child sex slaves on Mars.  That won’t convince Alex Jones or his listeners though, because that’s what the government wants you to believe!

Sadly, insane ramblings from men like Alex Jones and Robert Steele draw attention away from real kidnapping, child enslavement, and persecution around the world.  Most Americans are safe from such things here, so out of sight, out of mind.  But Christians are butchered in the Middle East and North Korea for their faith.  Girls are kidnapped as actual sex slaves in Nigeria by Boko Haram.  ISIS famously slaughters Christians and other non-Muslim minorities like a locust horde.  And on and on.  Those martyrs get no media coverage or attention.  They are tortured and murdered in obscurity.   Meanwhile back home, people are listening to Alex Jones and fretting over sci-fi pulp fiction.

About the author

Nick Kammer

Devout Christian, Cruz 2016 state co-Chair. Amateur metalsmith and jeweler. I worked on more campaigns than I care to remember. Brown University magna cum laude. Masters of Science in Accountancy. CPA. Yada yada. Everything I needed to know I learned from my father.

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