Next Wednesday, March 8, the group that brought us the Women’s March on Washington wants us all to observe “A Day Without a Woman”.
According to their website, the group’s intent is for women and their allies to “act together for equity, justice and the human rights of women and all gender-oppressed people, through a one-day demonstration of economic solidarity.”
In an effort to show that requested solidarity with this movement, I have compiled a list of suggested activities for observing A Day Without A Woman. Feel free to add your own, and be sure to wear red while participating in all these activities.
– Make a ham sandwich. March down to the local CAIR office – be sure to wear a veil if you’re female, preferably a red one – and toss it inside the lobby.
– Make a ham sandwich. March down to the local abortion clinic and give it to a pro-life protester. Be sure to thank them for their efforts to protect the lives of unborn women from the violence of abortion. Offer to hold their sign while they eat.
– Make a ham sandwich. March over to Ashley Judd’s house and tell her it’s a peace offering from Donald Trump.
– Make a ham sandwich. Give it to your spouse while telling him/her/hir how much you appreciate all that he/she/zhe does for you. If he/she/zhe is a good man/woman/being, he/she/zhe will make you one right back. If not, make another and further contribute to the hardening of his/her/hir arteries so you can collect the insurance a few days earlier.
– Make a ham sandwich. Give it to your boss with a nice little red bow and note saying how much you appreciate your job. If your boss is a woman, thank her for taking her job seriously enough to be at work that day.
– Make a ham sandwich. Give it to your child and reflect on how happy you are that you didn’t choose to purposely end that child’s life during pregnancy.
– Make a ham sandwich. Sit down and eat it while reflecting on how wonderful it is to live in a nation where most anyone can get by with doing and saying illogical and self-defeating stuff.