The Morning News

Good morning!

The President has rejected raising payroll taxes to save social security. We still only have a vague idea of what he intends to do. Meanwhile, Lindsey Graham (R-SC) was seen walking along the Mall debating the issue — with himself.

Canada, our Northern neighbor not bent on anything traditional like Queen or country, has decided to allow gay marriage. On the bright side, the Quebecers will probably be distracted from succession for a few years while they all get hitched.

In its continuing race to make itself wholly irrelevant, the Nobel Peace Prize was issued last night to Kenyan Wangari Maathai. She promptly warned that “the planet is at risk from human activity.” Ms. Maathai, who leads a tree planting movement, was immediately approached by MoveOn.org as a potential savior of the Democratic Party. Howard Dean just screamed.

The New York Times is horrified that Senator Harry Reid dared to “show[] flexibility on issues where he has been to the right of his caucus: abortion, gay marriage and tax reform,” and dared to praise Justice Scalia. The Times praised the Democratic Caucus for its immediate butt kicking of Senator Reid for daring to be nice to Scalia.

Washington State’s recount continues. Dino Rossi beat Democrat Christine Gregoire. Ms. Gregoire says she “will not stop until enough votes are stolen so I win.”

According to WaPo, ” President Bush is moving quickly to create a new, tighter and more disciplined domestic policy team to pursue transforming the way Americans save for retirement, pay taxes and seek legal damages. Convinced his leadership style and policy vision were vindicated by the election results, Bush is aggressively targeting these domestic programs for the second term by essentially replicating the formula he used to reshape foreign policy in the first. This includes creating a small, loyal and trustworthy team to press for broad changes largely dictated by the White House.” How dare Bush act like he won.

United Airlines launched regular commercial jet service to Vietnam yesterday. The flights leave from San Francisco. United was kind enough to fly David Hasselhoff on the first trip. Hopefully they forget to tell him when the return flight is. Speaking in Ho Chi Minh City upon arrival, the General Secretary of the Communist Party said, “Welcome comrades” to the loyal group of gays, tranvestites and Mary Frances Berry supporters who accompanied Hasselhoff. (kidding)

And finally, E. J. Dionne, pseudo-pundit to the intelligensia says “bravo” to the troops who dared to ask questions to Powell. Dionne, in WaPo, writes, ” Our troops in Kuwait, on their way to Iraq, spoke truth to Donald Rumsfeld this week. They make you very proud to be American..” He added, “I still hate the damn military and all the imperialistic tendencies it represents, but truth to power is always cool. Viva la revolucion.”

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Erick Erickson

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