The Morning News

Good morning!

Scott Peterson is going to die. It will most likely be of old age since he is on death row in California.

Kofi Annan’s son, Kojo, denies any wrongdoing in the Oil-for-Food scandal (“OFF”). The firm he worked for was hired in relation to OFF transactions. He says the hiring was not related to his employment with the firm.

Lefty political groups are “launching a nationwide protest against Sinclair Broadcast Group, charging that the 62-station TV broadcaster, which was also the target of intense criticism during the presidential campaign, is misusing public airwaves with partisan news programming.” Sinclair, which was the only broadcast channel willing to criticise John Kerry for his anti-war activities, is accused of being a Republican mouthpiece. The protest is an effort to re-energize lefty groups. Media Matters for America says, “Republican leaning media outfits are unacceptable. Unless the media adheres to the party line, the proletariat will never have a chance to rise up in revolution.”

Trials begin in Iraq next week to finally close the era of Saddam Hussein. Unfortunately, the trials promise to be legit instead of subjecting Saddam to the form of “justice” he subjected so many to over the years.

Senate Democrats insist they will take on the role of “watchdog” now that they realize they really are in the minority. “The Congressional watchdog remains fast asleep, and we intend to wake it up,” Senator Byron L. Dorgan of North Dakota said. He continued, “If we don’t change its diapers every day, it gets all soggy. If only the people of West Virginia would stop sending it down here.” The Dems will hold hearings with no subpoena power to make sure Bush is not eating babies and stealing old people’s drugs. Harry Reid privately thinks, “We will only invite people who hate Bush as we intend to make him look bad whether he deserves it or not.”

Adam Cohen, liberal editorialist for the Times (okay, one of them), is back making nonsense on the editorial page. In October, he accused Republicans of wanting to pass laws to make abortion a crime and to make it a felony for gays to have intimate relations in their homes. Today, he accuses Republicans of wanting to fully scrap the New Deal and return to the early 1800’s when there were no child labor laws or minimum wage laws. Horror of horrors, conservatives intend to do this through judicial activism. Idiot.

And finally, the Bush Administration intends to clean up the enviroment. Lefty environmental groups are unhappy. “How dare Republicans do anything good,” said one. Said another, “I don’t care how much good they do, we will condemn it.”

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Erick Erickson

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