The Oprah Takes On The Clintons

ImageThe OprahTM hits the ground soon for Barack Obama. Never let it be said The Oprah doesn’t have cajones. She’s going up against Bill and HIllary in a full frontal assault, wrecking havoc to Mark Penn’s thesis of the unbeatable Hillary and wrecking havoc in American households. I hope American politics and families will survive. But will The Oprah and Obama? They are, please remember, going up against the Clintons. As Rush Limbaugh has pointed out, lots of people end up in a bad way when doing so. (O, you got your tax records in order? Prepare to be audited if Mrs. Bill Clinton gets elected)

But here’s the thing — and I think the Godzilla picture is apt: like Godzilla tearing up Tokyo, The Oprah is going to tear up the Clinton play book. Mrs. Bill Clinton, remember, has been trying to frame herself as the sensitive Mrs. Bill Clinton, not the ice queen of Hillarycare. She’s been talking up her religion, gabbing it up with her husband, and pushing out the Tammy Wynette stories (despite her 1992 mocking) about how she stood by her man. She’s loyal and lovable down to the ankles.

Nonetheless, The Oprah, *the* arbiter of loyal and lovable, has chosen another. And American housewives the world over listen to every word The Oprah says and seize upon every recommendation made by The Oprah. That wavering mass of undecided American housewives that Mark Penn tells us will vote for Hillary because she’s a woman would sooner vote for The Oprah’s chosen than Bill’s wife. Why? Because The Oprah told them to.

Hollywood celebrity endorsements don’t amount to much. Just ask John Kerry. But The Oprah is bigger than all of the Hollywood-New York corridor of self congratulating, self-appointed guardians of who the “it person” is combined. The Oprah outranks Sean Penn, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Susan Sarandon, and all of Shirley McLaine’s present, past, and future lives combined. She is the modern day Jesus of the secular left and the Patron Saint of the American housewife. If she says “Obama” the Clintons better watch out. But so should Oprah.

There are three things to note here.


First, Mrs. Bill Clinton is going to have to ditch the lovable, loyal Hillary and go back to the “who do you want in the knife fight” theme — Her ankles or Mr. Metrosexual Inexperienced’s feelings. And Obama will get hurt. The Oprah’s credibility will be hurt. The Clinton’s will portray the secular Jesus as the Democratic Judas. But don’t feel too sorry for The Oprah. Bill and his wife may have a pulpit, but The Oprah has 4pm to 5pm Monday through Friday.

Second, the media will have a question to answer. After years of mocking American conservatives as mind-numbed automatons programmed daily between 12pm and 3pm to do Rush Limbaugh’s bidding, will they likewise begin ridiculing American soccer mom’s in the same way? After all, if The Oprah can command enough loyalty to inflict major damage on Mrs. Bill Clinton using a guy who has zero experience, aren’t American soccer moms greater automatons than all the right wing horde? And I bet they will, gently, ridicule to coax these wayward, brainwashed Jesus Oprah freaks back into the Clinton fold.

Third, how many divorces will The Oprah be responsible for? Just as she’s wrecking the Clinton Play Book, this move will surely wreck American households the world over. You know and I know that if any woman dares to tell her husband she’s voting for Barack Obama because The Oprah told her to, there will be no end to the deserved and hopefully savage mocking the woman receives from her husband. That will naturally lead to the husband’s death or divorce. Either of which will be The Oprah’s fault. But then look for Mrs. Bill Clinton to remind you that she, at least, stood by her man.

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Erick Erickson

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