According to preliminary reports, Senator Ted Cruz of Texas has gone into seclusion and is desperately trying to find reason to go on. It’s understandable given that you just don’t come back from this kind of thing. If you’re curious what has the star Senator from Texas reeling, Huffington Post broke the devastating news yesterday:
Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn.)… has been cracking wise about one of his least favorite colleagues, Ted Cruz (R-Texas), while promoting his sarcastically titled new book, Al Franken: Giant of the Senate.
“You have to understand that I like Ted Cruz probably more than my colleagues like Ted Cruz,” Franken told USA Today’s Susan Page, repeating a line from his book, “and I hate Ted Cruz.”
“He’s a special guy,” the senator added. Indeed, Page reports that Franken dedicates an entire chapter of his book to Cruz, titled “Sophistry.”
Certainly when someone as revered and distinguished as Senator Al Franken unleashes on you, it’s tough to regain any semblance of composure. When someone with the towering intellect and rapier wit of Franken accuses you of “sophistry,” all you can do is try to pick up the pieces.
After all, just compare these two men and their accomplishments to see the distinct advantage Franken has over Cruz in nearly every discernable category.
- Ted Cruz has authored over 80 Supreme Court briefs. Al Franken authored skits about poop and sex on Saturday Night Live.
- Ted Cruz clerked for the esteemed Chief Justice William Rehnquist. Al Franken performed fake news for laughs until he was replaced by Norm Macdonald and quit in a temper tantrum.
- Ted Cruz served as the primary editor of the Harvard Law Review and was hailed by one of the nation’s most well known attorneys, Alan Dershowitz (a liberal) as “off the charts brilliant.” Al Franken served as screenwriter and star in Stuart Saves His Family, a film that bombed at the box office with the San Francisco Chronicle calling the effort, “a mess.”
- Ted Cruz famously argued 9 cases before the United States Supreme Court. Al Franken famously grilled Representative Tom Price over owning tobacco stocks – that Franken also owns.
- Ted Cruz was once a national and international debate champion. Al Franken used cocaine while working in the television business.
It’s just not a fair fight. When someone with the pedigree of Al Franken speaks, the entire nation listens. And right now they’re hearing the junior Senator from Minnesota, who previously suggested Ted Cruz was, “the lovechild of Joe McCarthy and Dracula,” call Cruz’s character and intellect into question.
I’m not sure how he can recover.