The Resurgent’s team of Josh Hammer, Dave Scharoun and Philip Swicegood will be releasing its own NCAA football poll throughout the season, along with running commentary about each week’s highlights.
Here are our rankings and preview for week 4.
1. Alabama (Last week: def. Ole Miss 38-10) (This week: v. Kent State)
The Spawn of Satan, I mean, Alabama, plays Kent State on Saturday. The Tide are favored by 43.5 points—coincidentally the same number as the team’s combined GPA. I wish them nothing but the worst.
2. Ohio State (Last week: def. Oklahoma 45-24) (This week: bye)
Ohio State may be the real deal. This is literally painful to say and nausea-inducing, but the Buckeyes’ 45-24 victory last Saturday was their smallest margin of victory yet this season. This included seven points by Oklahoma that absolutely should not have counted. Yeah, this guy ran some laps this week:
— Sean Merriman (@MerrimanTweets) September 18, 2016
3. Louisville (Last week: def. Florida State 63-20) (This week: @ Marshall)
The Cardinals could score 60 points for a FOURTH week in a row. As a fan of a team with a substantially inferior offense, I literally can’t fathom this. To put this in perspective, Louisville has averaged NINE (9) touchdowns per game and happened to play the then-no. 2 team in the country last week. Unbelievable.
4. Michigan (Last week: def. Colorado 45-28) (This week: vs. Penn State)
After Colorado scored its third touchdown last Saturday, Michigan looked worse than Anthony Weiner after his third sexting scandal. Unlike Wiener, Michigan recovered. Michigan is still a fairly unproven commodity. Without having played a top-notch opponent, a no. 4 ranking may be slightly generous. The Wolverines’ first true test comes next week against Wisconsin.
5. Clemson (Last week: def. South Carolina State 59-0) (This week: def. Georgia Tech 26-7)
Speaking of unproven commodities…Clemson!!! Lets do a history lesson: Clemson BARELY squeaked out a 19-13 win against Auburn, who sources tell me is on the verge of being relegated down to high school ball. Next, they played Troy and barely pulled out a 30-24 win. Troy was emboldened to request a home game next year. Like Michigan, Clemson’s first real test will be next week against no. 3 Louisville. I’m predicting a 26-7 win over Georgia Tech. (OK fine, I wrote this after the actual game on Thursday.)
6. Houston (Last week: def. Cincinnati 40-16) (This week: v. Texas State)
See, if you follow the logic, Houston beat no. 25 Oklahoma, but Oklahoma then lost to no. 2 Ohio State. While Michigan and Clemson are unproven commodities, they will play solid competition the rest of the season. Houston only plays ONE ranked team through the end of the year. ONE. If Houston makes the College Football Playoff, it should be a sign to athletic directors everywhere that strength of schedule does not matter.
7. Stanford (Last week: Southern California 27-10) (This week: v. UCLA)
Name one Stanford fan…they’re like Josh Dobbs eyebrows, which is to say, nonexistent. Skip.
8. Michigan State (Last week: def. Notre Dame 36-28) (This week: v. no. 11 Wisconsin)
Michigan State has the biggest game of the week vs. no. 11 Wisconsin. After the Spartans mopped up Notre Dame, they will forever be in my debt. SERIOUSLY, WHY DOES EVERY NOTRE DAME GAME COME ON NBC?!?! One possible deciding factor in this game is that Michigan State has no reported injuries and Wisconsin has many.
9. Washington (Last week: def. Portland State 41-3) (This week: @ Arizona)
The only team that has an easier schedule than Houston is Washington. I mean really… Portland State? They have a team? Like with helmets and all? Teams that choose to play Portland State-caliber schools should be automatically exiled from contention in the College Football Playoff.
10. Texas A&M (Last week: def. Auburn 29-16) (This week: @ no. 17 Arkansas)
This game is HUGE for the SEC West. Whoever wins this game is likely Alabama’s biggest opponent in the West this season. Texas A&M looks poised to do well, but four of the last six games between the two teams have been decided by a touchdown or less.
11. Wisconsin (Last week: def. Georgia State 23-17) M (The week: @ Michigan State)
12. Georgia (Last week: def. Missouri 28-27) (This week: @ Ole Miss)
13. Tennessee (Last week: def. Ohio 28-19) (This week: v. no. 19 Florida)
14. Florida State (Last week: lost @ Louisville 63-20) (This week @ USF)
15. Miami (Last week: def. Appalachian State 45-10) (This week: bye)
16. Baylor (Last week: def. Rice 38-10) (This week: v. Oklahoma State)
17. Arkansas (Last week: def. Texas State 42-3) (This week: @ no. 10 Texas A&M)
18. LSU (Last week: def. Mississippi State 23-20) (This week: @ Auburn)
Erick Erickson attempted to fire me last week for being too hard on his Tigers, so here goes: The Tigers will definitely win this week…I just happen to think it will be the Auburn Tigers. (Anybody got a job opening?)
19. Florida (Last week: def. North Texas 32-0) (This week: @ Tennessee)
20. Nebraska (Last week: def. Oregon 35-32) (This week: @ Northwestern)
21. Texas (Last week: lost at California 50-43) (This week: bye)
22. San Diego State (Last week: def. Northern Illinois 42-28) (This week: bye)
SAN DIEGO STATE DOES NOT PLAY A SINGLE RANKED TEAM ALL SEASON AND IS RANKED ABOVE OKLAHOMA STATE, OREGON AND TCU. CAP LOCKS off.
23. Ole Miss (Last week: lost to Alabama 48-43) (This week: v. no. 12 Georgia)
24. Utah (Last week: def. San Jose State 43-17) (This week: def. Southern California 31-27)
25. Oklahoma (Last week: lost to Ohio State 45-24) (This week: bye)