Andres Mijares, left, and Joseph Cruz, right, join others during a march and rally during an immigration protest, Thursday, Feb. 16, 2017, in Austin, Texas. Immigrants around the U.S. stayed home from work and school Thursday to demonstrate how important they are to America's economy and way of life, and many businesses closed in solidarity, in a nationwide protest called A Day Without Immigrants. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

What Happened to the Antifa Civil War?

Once upon a time (in 1970, to be precise), Hollywood made a movie with a title asking an interesting question: Suppose They Gave a War And Nobody Came? Unfortunately, it was released the same year as the hit “war comedy” M.A.S.H. starring Donald Sutherland and Elliott Gould, so the better question might have been What If They Made a Movie That Nobody Watched?

Which reminds me of the “AntiFa Civil War” that was supposed to take place on November 4th — what happened? Where were all the protesters, watching college football? According to Newsweek, some people had actually bought into the claim that “Antifa-bred supersoldiers were going to behead white people in town squares across the country” — seriously?

And someone actually believed that nonsense?

The words Antifa and super-soldiers would seem to form an oxymoron in one’s mind. A more apt description for them might be super-stupid cowards. The only way I could see an Antifa protester cutting off someone’s head is by sneaking up on an unsuspecting victim who’s asleep. These aren’t exactly the sort of people who tend to excel in hand-to-hand combat. The Antifa crowd are the type who excel at hitting a person when their intended victim isn’t looking. They can’t win the debate on the merit of their argument, and they can’t win a fair fight against equal numbers.

Now it seems they can’t even persuade mindless sheep. Only a few #NeverTrump protesters turned out in the typical liberal havens such as Portland and New York City, but outside of Berkeley, enthusiasm for anarchy seems to have dramatically waned.

Regardless, Barney’s of New York seems to believe the leaders of the Antifa crowd might have a great deal more money than common sense. The luxury retailer offers the aspiring Antifa protester his or her own genuine “Anarchy Cotton-Blend Field Jacket” (complete with hand-written graffiti) at the bargain price of only $375.

The average Bernie Sanders supporter might even feel like they’re stealing the jacket at these prices!

Interestingly, with their advertisement Barney’s may have inadvertently given us the best explanation why no one showed up for the announced civil war last weekend.

Protesters simply didn’t know what to wear!

And naturally, being a business run by greedy capitalists, Barney’s would know how to seize upon the opportunity and take advantage of this newly-discovered niche market. As someone aspiring to become a greedy capitalist, it seems to me the same market could be served by the savvy entrepreneur after a trip to the local Army-Navy surplus store.

With $375 and a Sharpie, the opportunist could conceivably turn fifteen or so secondhand field jackets into $4 -$5,000 in net profit — assuming people actually buy these jackets, of course, and at Barney’s prices. It would be deliciously ironic for the rich “anarchist” fool to provide a revenue stream for shrewd capitalists, especially just in time for Christmas shopping.

Is this a great country, or what?


About the author

John Leonard

John lives in the northern suburbs of Atlanta, GA with his wife Lisa, two dogs and an antisocial cat.

His detective novels are published under the pseudonym Rocky Leonard, while his nonfiction writings may be found here at The Resurgent, or his personal website, depending on the subject.

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