What Trump’s UN Speech Was Lacking

Like most of America, I watched bits and pieces of Trump’s speech and pretended like I saw the whole thing.  I heard a lot about the greatness of America, the need to confront evil in this world, the plans America has to lead this world out of the darkness, blah blah blah.  What I DIDN’T hear was a word about Robert E. Lee, repealing the 19th Amendment, or making fun of the Cleveland Browns.  Trump could have made a simple phone call to Obama and found out how to give a real speech.

Obama pictured here in the middle of a post-presidency strategy session to help the poor.

Where were the apologies for America?  Trump should be conscientious (big word. no big deal) enough to know that America hasn’t bailed out the entire world in a generation or two, and we should feel badly about that.  America should have two modes when it comes to foreign policy: either be saving the world from the armies of darkness or splayed prostrate, begging forgiveness from all the countries you’ve saved.  There should be no third direction.

Trump also took a cheap shot at Kim Jong Un by calling him “Rocket Man” and it made me sick to my stomach (I put some expired cheddar in my eggs this morning so I guess it could have been that).  If Trump had an ounce of class, he would have used the Obama model of standing before the United Nations and dumping on your political opponent back in the states.

Also, say what you want about The Barberless Barbarian, but North Korea’s literacy rate is 100% according to North Korea.  You might get stuck doing fifteen years of hard labor, but you’ll be able to read the brand name on your sledgehammer while you’re doing it.

“I wonder if I could kidnap Little Debbie.”

Don’t even get me started on Iran.  Trump called on the Iranian government to “end their pursuit of death and destruction”.  Uh, Obama already ended Iran’s evil pursuits.  As history has shown, nothing stops a totalitarian regime like lifting sanctions and handing them pallets of untraceable money.  Sure those people still chant “Death to America”, but now you can tell that their hearts aren’t really in it.

The next time Trump stands at that sacred UN podium, he better do so while standing on an American flag and wearing a “Sorry about Syria” t-shirt.


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Jesse Kelly

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