Why Is It?

Why is it that the mind seems to dwell on the worst case scenario? It is hard to get around this situation with Christy. It’s almost a test of faith. I have high hopes and many prayers that the biopsy will come back tomorrow and be nothing at all. But my mind, in the solitude of the night and the stillness of today, turns to the darkest, emptiest thoughts. I’m scared I guess, though not so much.

I think, as I was telling God earlier, I feel lonely for the Lord — I just want Him to tell me its going to be okay and there is nothing wrong. You know He’s there. You know He’s listening. You know He knows. But sometimes there is an abstraction and you want the warm reality of his presence and you’re so focused on the worst case scenario you lose the ability, for a time, to feel His presence. And it makes a circle. And you become more lonely for Him.

It’s times like this you want the physical reality of the Lord. And you want your wife to not be sick and to not have the worst case scenario.

I guess when you are so worried about what might be it is hard to be still and know that He is God.

About the author

Erick Erickson

View all posts

2 Comments

  • “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important…? Look at the birds… your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow…. Will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?… But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:25-34).

  • You’re all in our prayers, and we hope you’ll let us know if we can do anything. I can only imagine what this must be like, but I’ve always found comfort in the assurance that NOTHING happens unless it is part of God’s plan for you and your family, and that EVERYTHING that does happen can only result in what is best for those who love Him.